Money. It's a crucial part of life and I hate it.
This semester I am not living in the dorm (woo hoo!), but paying rent isn't exactly my favorite thing to do the first of the month. I guess living off campus has given me a better understanding of the position I find myself in.
Three words: poor college student.
The purpose of this blog is to focus on the first word: poor. Believe me, I am not writing this to get hand-outs or promote awareness of my condition; My mother already knows so I am set.
I am happy to find myself in this situation. Naturally to avoid going deeper into debt I am working a couple of jobs. One employer recently told me they had no budget to pay for me grading their papers for their class, but still wants me to do the work. The original agreement was not very attractive in the first place...
Employer: “you will be paid to work in the FitZone, and you can grade the pa
Me: “oh wow! Yeah that sounds great. So essentially I am getting paid double at one time?”pers for my class and another professors class”
Employer: “No, you do both jobs but get paid for one. Although, when you have a lot of papers to grade and go over the time of your FitZone shift you can get paid for the time you go over to grade the papers,”
Me: “Oh, I see. Sure, if it helps you out I will do it.”
But now it's just volunteer hours...
Employer: “we have no budget to pay you for working over.”
Me (thoughts: I should have seen this coming...)
Employer: “So could you get all this grading finished within your shifts this week?”
Me: “I understand. I will try my best.”
Anyways...I digress. I guess what I was getting at was now I am doing charity work along side needing charity. It's a good thing, really. It keeps me humble.
Senior classes are hard and with work and soccer (which recently finished!) on top of that is a struggle, but I am not writing this to complain. I know others are in my very shoes walking around with the same weight.
It has been tight. Having enough money for rent, groceries, gas, and unexpected things that come up during the month is hard to stretch over a small paycheck. This last month was especially hard, but I had figured everything out. I was barely going to scrape by with a full stomach, the gas above empty, a place to stay in, a few pennies in the bank, and oooh no! Tithe! I forgot about tithe.
I had to choose whether or not I was going to give tithe...The math was not adding up. It made no sense to give it. I mean God would understand, right? He wants us to use our logical thinking... he wants us to stay out of debt...hmm... but I know I should give. It was a struggle, but I gave. It didn't solve the problem as soon as I gave, but somehow I made it through. People inviting me to lunch when I didn't have any food, discovering a local pantry that gives free food, and even some people taking the time to listen to me when I was emotionally and mentally spent, and of course these verses: “Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall I eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall I wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek, For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble.” - Matt. 6:31-34.
I think it is important for us to let God be God. How can we know that he is right along side us when we never give him the opportunity to reveal himself? If we never trust in him fully how can we say we have a strong relationship with him? Trust comes through experiencing his power and his willingness to support us with all that we need. He wants us. He wants all of us.
Based on Mark 12:43-44. The widow's two mites. Jesus: “assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood.”
I want Jesus to say that about me. I love the line, “her whole livelihood.” All that she has worked for, all that she stands for, all her worth, and all that she knows she gives to Jesus.
Step out and let him catch you. If I didn't I would never have felt his warm embrace and his solid grip he has on me.
Wow! I love this! I have had a lot of unexpected expenses come up lately that have terribly affected my budget, too. This is a good reminder and just what I needed to hear about God's knowing our needs and meeting them. It's a good experience for growth. Thank you!
ReplyDeletePS I had recently been reflecting on money, too. I think it's rather ridiculous that our entire lives must revolve around meaningless pieces of paper with dead presidents on them. But that's the problem. Those papers mean everything . . . until we remember that God owns everything, including the cattle on the thousand hills. And then our perspective shifts.
It is so true. I'm glad you read my blog and you go through the same things. You inspire me to keep blogging :)
ReplyDeleteI think I have recently been experiencing some perspective shifts. This is just one of a handful. I hope to blog on the rest when I get some time.