Grandma's Goal

    My Grandma has been in the hospital since January. That's 6 months now. When she went in for surgery on her hiatal hernia the doctor nicked a part of her bowel and the whole area got infected. The doctor then went in to remove the graft they put in, since it was infected, then he nicked another portion of the bowel during that surgery. It's amazing she is still alive. A fistula formed between her bowel and the skin. She has been in the hospital waiting for it to heal without another infection. The terms I was studying in my medical terminology book was spilling into my life with every phone call from home.

    I was finishing up my last semester in college when all of her surgical procedures happened and a large part of her healing process. I felt so disconnected and useless. I called once on her birthday, but as I was applying for my internship, studying for tests, and working, I only made time for grandma in my prayers. The things that I felt were nothing compared to my grandma's life were consuming my time.

   I felt disconnected in other ways too. So many good things were going on in my life. I got engaged, passed my four year comprehensive test, got and internship, graduated from college, and yet when I called home it was more bad news. Grandpa had cancer, got his bowel removed, and now has to change a bag for the rest of his life. Grandma's medicine was making her memory go and  she was very depressed. The people that made up the largest portion of memories in my life were slowly going downhill, and I was far away from it all. 

   Once I graduated, I came back home to plan the wedding, finish up a class, and get everything ready for my internship. The first time I visited grandma when I got back home she was doing well mentally and was in high spirits. Her wound had about a 1/2 inch to heal upwards over a large portion of her abdominal area, but she was making progress. The next time I visited she was discouraged and depressed. She thought she would never make it out of the hospital. The following time I came she thought that I surprised her and that I just got back from college. She hadn't remembered my visits before. I just got off the phone with her and she was asking me about the large gash that I got when I flipped the lawn mower on a bank where it rolled over me (praise God the blades were not facing me). She remembered that from when I visited her last. She told me she misses watermelon and being in a home and riding in a car- the simple things in life.

My Grandpa holding Grandma to comfort her.

   I am amazed with my grandma. She is truly a remarkable woman by hanging on so long to one day becoming better and walking out of the hospital. She inspires me to keep going in my everyday ho hum tasks of life. I thought I didn't have an impact on her and that she was so far away only my prayers would reach her, but through it all I found that, even though every visit was different, she has always told me, "I want to make it to your wedding." There are signs on her hospital wall that say things like, "Eat, drink, and walk to make it to your goal- Sarah's wedding." The whole time I was away I had no idea that she had made my wedding her goal. The doctor already gave her a one day pass for July 15th and I am so blessed to know that my grandma will be there supporting me in just another special way.