Marriage is easy. That is what I thought for the first six months of it at least. I have learned since then that if you want a marriage that will last there are a few things that need to happen. Here are some things that I have learned through this year that have made our marriage a happy one:
1. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Forgiving means never bringing it up again. When you forgive you can't use it as ammunition for the next fight or problem that will come up. That mistake they made is gone. We both learned from it and are both moving on. That means you have to forgive yourself too. Give it to Jesus and believe he has taken it away. I always had to turn to Jesus to give me the strength to forgive David, and just seeing His quickness of forgiveness of my sins, I couldn't help but forgive David. Another thing that helped me to forgive was the fact that I was putting whatever had happened that offended me before my marriage. In other words I was holding a grudge or a wound as more important to me than having a healthy happy marriage.
2. Pray. Everyday David and I pray together and it's so nice to know you actually have someone fighting your battles with you. Nathan, the pastor who married us, and his wife gave us the books: The Power of a Praying Husband and The Power of a Praying Wife. Those books helped us to start the habit of praying for each other daily. Getting on the same track spiritually has made us so close and our relationship with God is always growing.
3. Divorce is not an option. I can depend on my marriage to be there. If it is something you can depend on then it's something you'll invest in.
4. Date. Yep, take your wife on a date every week. It makes marriage fun again and brings you together through each experience. Some date ideas that we have done include: going out to eat at Panera (our favorite), candle lite dinner at home (surprising him was a lot of fun), going out for ice cream or smoothies (yes, we like food), frisbee golf (or any other sport you enjoy doing together especially one where it doesn't get too competitive which can ruin a date), star gazing, board games!, building a fort in the living room with all the blankets in the house, learning French and writing all the names for each different body part in washable marker on your husband (hehe), walking and watching the sunset/sunrise, mini golfing, go to places that have a lot of meaning to each other in an aircraft simulator, picnic, etc... Get creative!
5. Do the little things. David washes the dishes (which I don't consider a little thing, but he does) and it shows me that he loves me enough to lighten my load in the kitchen. He also gets me a flower every Friday. I pack his lunch every morning sometimes out of habit, but mostly because I love him. He tells me that I am the most beautiful woman in the world at least twice a day. We kiss every time we part and come together which I think is important. We celebrate milestones and job success together. We brush our teeth together (it's important, keeping up your appearance for your husband and vice versa portrays that you care about yourself and that you still are trying to attract them to you.)
6. Hang out with other couples your age. I don't know what David and I would have done this year without our beloved friends Christine & Ryan and Brooke & Jeremy! It is so so so nice to have separate girl time and for David to have his time with the guys. Every Saturday night (with the exception of maybe 3 nights this year) we have hung out with couples our age and what a blessing it was! There are some things guys just can't understand the same way a girl can and vis versa. And yes the fact that they are married too is important. There are so many things that is shared and can be related to it's crazy!!
7. Laugh. Laugh at his jokes even if you have heard them 3 times already.
Laugh at your cooking mistakes. This year I made a huge cooking blunder that was suppose to be TVP wrapped in pie crust (I'm not sure why I thought that it would be good), but once I pulled it out of the oven it reminded me of the dead mink I had to dissect in anatomy and physiology at Southern. Once David got home and asked what was for dinner I said, "dead mink" with a smile on my face. I served it with spaghetti sauce to make it look authentic and David and I joke about it to this day. :)
We also joke about the time when we were at Kroger and David and I were picking out a certain birth control and the box advertised, "ultra thin" to which we looked at each other and David said, "I just don't know if we should go with the cheaper option on this and noted that it was a very big decision to make." We picked up a box and went along to get some milk. Recently we had just been changing from soy milk to almond milk so we grabbed the almond milk and went on. As we were walking down the aisle I stopped and looked at David and said, "that was a big decision, your right what if its too thin?" To which he replied, "you're right, maybe we should go back and get the soy milk."
Writing this list brings back so many good memories with David and with friends. I love being married and sharing my life with my best friend. I'm looking forward to so many more memories with the coming years!
No comments:
Post a Comment